I can't do this. It's Christmas eve and I'm sitting in the living room alone. He's in bed. He went to bed at 7 pm and was angry because I wasn't ready to go to bed too. He was angry because the lights were still on. He refused to take his night meds. Almost violently refused. Mostly he's angry because he is hurting and confused. But I'm hurting and confused too. In a different way. Next July we will celebrate our 60th anniversary. If there's anything li eft to celebrate. I can't do this. But I will. One day at a time.