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Listen and Let Them Know They Matter

"You kind of have to know when to back off and when to check in."



Sometimes you need to just let them vent, and let them talk, and you need to listen for cues. You need to listen to know when it's just, "I'm sad," or when it's—this is leading to something bigger. This could be an episode: this could be something bad. You kind of have to know when to back off and when to check in.

There's days with Danielle where I know that she's just having a bad day, and she's angry or she's sad about something that is going on in her life and those are days where I know that she may be sad, but she's alright. And then there are days where she doesn't talk to me for a few days, or when I talk to her she's really, really, really upset and I can tell that it's just affecting her really badly: she's sleeping a lot, she's not eating, she's very quiet, she's not laughing, she's not smiling, at all. And those are the days where I get nervous, those are the days where I'll reach out to her more often, and I will stop by her job and check up on her, even if it's dropping by with a drink that I know she likes or knowing that when she gets to my house she's going to have ice cream that she can eat there.

Those little things, I feel, mean so much to her. It's nothing for me to go and make sure that she has dairy-free ice cream in my house, but it means a lot to her. Those little things I feel make her feel more like I think about her all the time, like she matters to me. And I think that that is very important for somebody who's dealing with somebody who's depressed is to make sure that they know that they matter to them 100% and that you're always thinking about them.

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