"So instead of get over it—how can I help you get through this? What can I do to make this easier for you?"
There's a lot of things that you don't say to somebody who has depression and is feeling bad: "Get over it." "Your troubles are not the end of the world." "Life goes on." Any of those blanket euphemisms that people just toss out—stop, don't do that, because they don't apply to every situation. It's not like you fell and skinned your knee, you can get over that. When you're really depressed, or you're really upset, or something significant has happened in your life, and whether it's somebody who has constant depression or whether it's somebody who's going through a grieving process—they've lost somebody, they've lost a pet, they've lost a family member, they've broken up with somebody—any of those things that create that feeling of loss or feeling of depression or feeling of overwhelming sadness, you're not just going to get over it. It doesn't happen. Life just doesn't work like that. You've got to work your way through it.
So instead of get over it—how can I help you get through this? What can I do to make this easier for you? You're not going to make that person feel better about losing their boyfriend, about losing a family member. You're not going to make them feel better, but you may be able to help them grieve. "Do you want to talk about it? Do you want me to just sit with you while you cry? What can I do to help you get through this?" is probably the best thing you can say to somebody.
Want more? Get new stories straight to your inbox.